Music, opening up spaces in your meditation

If u hear Jayshri, my music teacher, sing this bhajan (Samaj manu Hari bajata hoya..) u will hear the tabla beat behind. I have no clue about matra and stuff like that.  But I bought this shruti box to practice because I realise I have come to a phase where I am getting stuck while singing, trying too hard, but without the prop of good technique to help me along...

Why does she pause, why do some words run into each other? Why is one Hari elongated at the end and the other Hari in the subsequent line end normally? How do u feel bhava (attitude of the song) when u cannot get the tune right? Which should come first, the attitude of the song (poignant, worshipful, for instance) or the tune?

Guess what?
She struggled with the mathematics of all this, how to explain such complicated and nuanced stuff to a tone-deaf person (I) in whose favor the only thing that may be said is that she tries hard:) (wrong effort, can be as bad as not trying, u know.. something I face in students often).. We  played the song with the tabla box playing behind.

And lo, everything seems to fall in place -- How many times to rotate the O, where to pause, where to speed.. everything falls into the structure of this teen taal. Even now, I have no clue with what is happening... But J says that I pick up without understanding. My own take is that somewhere, where words don't have to communicate, some part of my brain talking to another, and a structure falls into what  otherwise seems to billow and waft  about... a map behind the undululating hills... a path through vast dunes -- where structure seems impossible, there something definite!  How powerful that is...

In a manner of speaking u can say that your practice on the mat will open up such doorways of the mind.. where sometimes u may not even know enough to ask the right questions, but all your answers will be ready even before the question. On the mat, everyday, this sort of a `Aha' moment. Nowadays also when I do classes. Something still in the movement, so that each moment fugues into another, like a musical note.. sweet, effortless, freeflowing... How beautiful it is when the mind gets that ....So beautiful, just now, even remembering...

If remembering can be so beautiful, how perfect it would be to know IT ...

So, I don't talk about my sort of yoga anymore -- either u get it, or you don't... The structure behind the void ...