(Lladro porcelain Buddha, from their site)Since the last few weeks there does seem to be some settling down in myself-- a lot of students who were draining me I simply sent away, in that awful way I have:( I then realized since I am not into this for the money and do not need the façade of politeness to put up with some very rude behavior as may be other teachers do, who need to work for their money. I am not saying I am rich. But I think I have my priorities right. I left a toxic environment (journalism) for yoga and there was no need to get other kinds of toxins back into my life. It is still a lot of juggling. Earlier, I used to add to the confusion by bringing in spiritualism and convincing myself that I must allow toxic people around me, believing that if I knew better than them maybe they will learn something of what I was trying to get through -- that I must tolerate churlish behavior. But I realize I am not in the mood of that either. I am not going to tell a guy who spits that his behavior is bad(a similar thing, with students, who have their own ideas of what is acceptable social behavior with a teacher). I am just going to ensure that the fellow does not spit in my room (which means, if there is something that is not yoga, then I am not having that in my center). My space is all I can control. I cannot change a buffalo to become a deer overnight, as I seem to be attempting:) Possibly this may mean that I may very well have to retire into some ashram where they dole out free food to fools like me, and I can stop having think too much about all this. Yet, I feels better now. I am calmer and sure what I want in my space. I know I am not going to change anybody and that it is ok, as long as it is not thrust in my face, if they want to rot in their little mindspaces that will not expand to yoga:)
Yeah.. I am not going to be commercial and grit and bear it.. That makes me feel very rich, I assure you:)
So, coming back to why I am blabbing about all this? Well, the idea of yoga and awareness about what it actually is, is so limited. So, yes, if it were to expand then maybe there will be more of teachers of like me, who can have the students they want...
And that yoga is not just bumbling on the mat doing things inefficiently: that it is more, something more.. it is magic .. part of the magic lies in the many interpretations ..take for instance, the simple word asana which the Indian power yoga brigade has repeated misused to create some mishy-mashy thing ..
I am looking into a directory of yoga terms by the Kaivalyadham institute (Lonavla) and amazed how sophisticated it is and how many things the simple word "asana" could mean:
- the posture
- one of the eight limbs of the ashtanga(eight-limbed) yoga practice
- meditative pose
- something through which one conquers the three worlds
- asanajaya (victory over the poses) will purify nadis
- it leads to toughness of body
- a seat on which someone sits
- a state of mind which is continually fixed on Brahman
- it is pleasure which drives away all needs
- which stimulates the spinal cord to arouse cutaneous sensations internally
- Steadiness in one's form